🦠 Crunchy Crotch™

Definition:

A man whose emotional hygiene is as neglected as his physical one—bitter, flaky, and irritated by boundaries.

Breakdown:

Crunchy Crotch™ isn’t just about neglect—it’s a whole vibe. These are men who treat personal growth like a conspiracy, show up dusty in both attitude and accountability, and flake on every form of communication that requires depth. There’s usually a scent of unwashed ego, misplaced rage, and a wildly inflated sense of sexual relevance. Often spotted in gym shorts, unearned confidence, and unsent apologies.

Example Usage:

“He said therapy is for weak people but begged for nudes two days later. Classic Crunchy Crotch behavior.”